The twelfth entry in the Goosebumps series uses a classic phrase, however, the plot doesn’t add much else. Reader beware, you’re in for a snooze fest. I wish I could have skipped this entry.

Synopsis:

Samantha Byrd is always being bullied by Judith Bellwood and Anna. The first example of this in the book is Sam being tripped by Judith. Sam falls on her face in math class.

Sam is often made fun of for being tall and for having the last name Byrd. So, things she doesn’t have control over and things I don’t think kids really make fun of. Considering Sam is like nine feet tall in the book, she should be able to just throw Judith, but that never happens.

Sharon, Sam’s teacher, asks if Sam is okay. For some reason, Sam calls all of her teachers by their first names. Also, Sharon doesn’t do anything about Judith’s bullying, despite witnessing it.

Sam proceeds to mess up a math problem and is bullied for it.

Sam goes to lunch. She has lunch with her friend Cory. For some reason, Cory agrees with Judith, so I guess he isn’t really a good friend. She discusses murdering Judith with Cory, crazy foreshadowing right there.

Sam goes to her home economics class, which Judith is also in. I think you can solve your problem by just changing your schedule around, Sam. Anyways, Sam thinks about the awful food they make in class, which she thinks the teacher may eat. Free food is free food.

Judith comes from the other side of the classroom and dumps pudding all over Sam’s new shoes. She considers murder an appropriate response and begins to strangle Judith. Sam runs away once her teacher Daphne steps in.

Sam is not expelled or suspended for attempted murder, so she goes to basketball practice at the end of the school day. Despite being tall, she is no Shaq, as she is really bad at basketball.

Sam gets bullied more during basketball. This culminates in Judith kneeing Sam in the chest, when Sam dives for a ball. Sam dies.

Just kidding, she only had the wind knocked out of her, nice cliffhanger. Judith apologizes, but Sam doesn’t accept. This causes Judith to be angry.

Sam walks her bike home, why? Why not just ride your bike like a normal person?

Sam runs into a woman. The woman is lost and can’t find the right street. She helps the woman find the right street.

Sam decides to ride her bike now, while showing the woman around. She wrecks her bike. I am scared for when Sam becomes a driver, she’s going two miles per hour and still wrecks her bike.

The woman reveals her name to be Clarissa. Clarissa is then almost hit by a car, okay. Sam heads home, but the woman stops her. She offers Sam three wishes. Sam gets scared, but the woman insists.

Sam wishes to be the strongest basketball player on her team. This can’t possibly backfire in any way.

At dinner later that night, her brother Ron says she’s too tall to play basketball. This doesn’t make sense. She plays a game of basketball against her brother. As to be expected, Sam still sucks at basketball.

She wishes Ron to be one foot tall. Ron disappears, Sam freaks out, their dog Punkin shows up. What is that name? Just name the dog pumpkin. Ron reappears at normal height.

The next day Sam is still bullied. That night they have a basketball game against another school. Sam is now the best player, because everyone on her team is playing worse than her.

Her teammates can’t throw, pass, or even run due to being too tired. As to be expected, their team loses abysmally.

The next day, everyone on the basketball team is out sick, except for Sam. Sam thinks she murdered the team with her wish. She tells Cory, but he doesn’t believe her.

They go to the school nurse, Audrey. After Sam and Cory ask about Judith and Anna, the nurse says they are out sick. Cory believes Sam even less, especially the wish part.

Sam goes home and decides to go see Clarissa to fix her wish. Too bad she has an appointment with the orthodontist. She learns she has to get braces at the dentist.

Back at home, Sam calls Judith, why? This can only go poorly. Judith’s mom answers the phone and says Judith is too sick to talk.

Judith still answers the phone and is mad at Sam. She blames Sam for her being sick.

The next day, after school Sam searches for Clarissa. After having no luck, she goes and visits Judith. Judith is still mean, who would’ve thought? Judith somehow knows the rest of the team is sick, and calls Sam a witch.

After leaving, Sam wishes for Judith to disappear. Clarissa magically appears and cancels her last wish, then grants the new wish. Sam says she didn’t mean it.

Later, after dinner Sam plays games with Ron. Sam calls Judith, and luckily Judith still exists. So, this tells me the wishes aren’t instant.

The next day, Sam sleeps in. She wakes up and her family is gone, as well as everyone in town. Sam screams about hating Judith. Sam also doesn’t know how to take care of herself, since she’s a child.

Clarissa appears in Sam’s living room. She tells Sam to think carefully about her final wish, since she won’t get another one. Further, she explains that magic is unpredictable, but technically Judith has disappeared. Sure.

Sam thinks, then wishes for everything to return to normal, but adds Judith will think she’s the greatest. How stupid is this wish? So stupid, that I think I lost my mind reading that.

The next day, or maybe the same day, anyways Sam wakes up. Everything is back to normal. At school, Judith has copied Sam’s haircut. Judith is overly nice and is acting pretty weird.

Anna is also confused about her friend’s new look and friendliness towards Sam. Judith says she wants to be just like Sam. Cory is in disbelief.

Judith asks for help making foul shots from Sam. At basketball everyone thinks Judith has lost her mind. They have another basketball game that night, and they lose the game. Are they playing two basketball games a week? These games seem super close together.

That night Judith comes over. Sam’s parents are surprised they are such good friends. Luckily Sam is able to get Judith to leave.

That night, Sam is going to her room. She finds Judith in her room, hiding out. At this point, we’re on a path to a boiled rabbit, either that or a boiled Punkin.

Judith is acting weird and wants to study Algebra with Sam. Sam is able to get Judith to leave again. Insert your favorite stalker movie, and you basically have what’s been going on with Judith.

Clarissa shows up to give one more wish. So, I guess the final wish wasn’t the final wish. Also, the Djinn from Wishmaster would be impressed with how bad these wishes turn out.

Sam is still an idiot and wishes that she had never met Clarissa, but instead Judith had met Clarissa. Why would you wish that? Have you not learned anything. Everyone who read this book is probably collectively facepalming at this point.

Time is reversed and Sam sees Judith meet Clarissa. Judith wishes for Sam to become a bird and fly away. Sam instantly turns into a bird. I can’t believe this didn’t backfire on Judith in some way. Also, when Judith makes another wish, won’t this wish be cancelled out?

The book ends.

Review:

This Goosebumps book is so boring and predictable. Some of the sections could be skimmed through. Also, there must be at least ten pages of just playing basketball. This is the weakest book so far.

Sam is a boring character who somehow sucks at just about everything in this book. Also, the rest of the characters are just awful or have nothing going on. I’m only rooting for Sam, because every other character is worse. Sam isn’t much better though, at least through the characterization present.

This isn’t even mentioning the boring, predictable, and cliche filled story. This book feels like Occam’s razor doesn’t exist, or if it does in this book, everyone ignores it. Sam is always making the most convoluted or dumbest decision possible, while not using any critical thinking. This book kind of sucks.

Also, it seems like Judith is granted wishes just by meeting Clarissa instead of helping her, so Clarissa may be a villain, I don’t know.

The positives are not numerous. We get a good villain in Judith. Clarissa is mysterious, I guess. Stuff happens. Pacing is alright. The core concept of the title is present. The book is well executed for what it is.

This Goosebumps entry gets a solid 3/10. If I do change the rating in the future, it will only go lower. I wish I could have skipped this entry. This also makes this the weakest Goosebumps entry.

Twist ending:

The main character is dumb, so dumb in fact, they twist ending themselves into a bird. Sam does this by having the main antagonist meet Clarissa instead. Also, a dark ending.

Memorable line:

“Destroy Judith.” X4. Not exactly a line, but this is Sam’s murder plan, great.

Memorable moment, cliffhanger, etc.

Sam strangles Judith. I wasn’t expecting a character to be strangled two Goosebumps books in a row.

Bad parenting:

I’m changing it to bad teaching, since the parents are in this book for a part of two chapters. The teachers in this book see Sam getting bullied, as well as Sam choking out another student, yet they never do anything. A+ this is how you know a teacher doesn’t like a student.

Random references:

People Magazine, Reebok, Doc Martens, Basketball, Ping Pong, Mercedes, Seventeen, and Gap. Hopefully, I’ll have a gap in my memory about this book, but it’s so bad, I don’t think I will.

Tropes in book:

Sibling pair, character is 12, crazy cliffhanger, Judith jump scare, nobody believes a character’s crazy story, twist ending, and dark ending.

TV tie-in:

I can’t say the episode is much better than the book. A lot of events were cut out due to the episode runtime being around 20 minutes. Which leads to a lot of the events being cut or shortened.

The main cons still exist, with more issues being added. While the events remain mostly the same, the story is toned down quite a bit, multiple characters are cut, and most of the bullying is removed. Nobody gets strangled in the episode.

There are two notable changes that stuck. One of the wishes is changed, so everyone turns into flies. The second, Judith wish backfires on her, and she becomes a statue at the end of the episode, instead of Sam being turned into a bird.

I’d give this episode of Goosebumps a 3/10. It’s on par with the book, not good.

The opening music sounds like something Riff from Detroit would play on his boom box.

Memorable episode line:

Judith: “These sheets are so cool!”

Sam: “Shut up.”

Never compliment Sam’s sheets.

Famous Cast:

Melody Johnson from Jason X. also, Ellen-Ray Hennessy.

Come back soon for more Goosebumps fun and reviews.

To read the last Goosebumps review: https://goosebumpsblogger.com/goosebumps-11-the-haunted-mask/