This entry of Goosebumps introduces superheroes and supervillains into the mythos. While this doesn’t fit the usual horror-based stories told in Goosebumps, maybe R.L. Stine can show some comic book knowledge. For those who aren’t aware, according to Stine he was a fan of comics when he was younger, including E.C. Comics. This review will see if the Masked Mutant would fit into an X-Men comic or if he’ll be as forgettable as the X-Terminators.

Synopsis:

The book opens with our main character Skipper freaking out on Wilson, a friend of his for touching his comics. In a few seconds, I’m about to drop some knowledge, but before I do, I need to give some context.

I’m a comic book nerd. I’ve been collecting for many years and have also been involved in both the collecting and selling community for many years. Usually, I don’t get the opportunity to talk about comics or even collecting, however, this book gives me a great opportunity for that. Also, Skipper is about to be mercilessly roasted.

Skipper says that Wilson will get fingerprints on the comics, and it won’t be mint. First, Skipper, fingerprints suck, but you have your comics in bags, so that’s not a problem. Second, your books aren’t mint. First, most comics are near mint or lower, even for new books, which means that it’s unlikely your books are actually in that good of shape, and secondly, for raw ungraded comics, it’s an inaccuracy to really call any of them mint, even if they look perfect.

Skipper then says the book is an issue 0 and was sold as a collector’s item which makes it more valuable. This is clearly set in the 90s when gimmicks like this were huge. Unfortunately, issue 0’s aren’t really worth anything, even if it’s a ‘collector’s item’. Just to drop some knowledge, this was a selling tactic used back then, but today, there are so many still left in great shape from back then and have low desirability in general, that the issue 0 doesn’t mean anything, unless it’s a key, and even then, it’s iffy.

Skipper then states he doesn’t read his books and only bags them. Well Skipper, you should invest in some boards. Also, reading comics is a part of the reason to collect them. If Skipper was around today, he’d probably only be into modern gimmick slabbed comics.

Skipper also thinks in 20 years that the comics will be worth millions. Oh no, he fell for it. Skipper is quite literally a 90s comic speculator. In about 5-10 years, Skipper is going to get totally burned on his investment. To help explain for context, in the early to mid 90s, people started speculating on comics coming out thinking they were going to be worth a lot of money in a few years and they’d be rich or be able to send their kids to college.

The problem is the books coming out at that time were mass produced, went through multiple printings, were super popular, and people kept them in nice shape, since they thought they would be worth a lot. This is a problem. Due to millions of copies being available, even today, these books are generally not worth much today, usually only cover price at that time or a few dollars more today.

Take the death of Superman. That book was one people outside of comic collectors thought would be worth millions, since it was the death of Superman, but today, you can sell copies for anywhere between $5-10 at most. Unless it was a more limited printing, and even those are pretty cheap.

Why did this happen? Well, the biggest reason people saw the huge sale prices of the comics from 30s and 40s, even into the 60s. For example, first Batman, Spider-Man, or Captain America. However, these books were expensive because most were in bad shape, few survived the years, people didn’t take care of them, most were thrown away, and these books featured the debuts and first appearances of big names. In the 90s, these books had matured to be worth money over 30-50 or more years and were highly desirable.

The 90s books didn’t have any of these qualities going for them, and today, like a lot of collectors, I’m stuck with a ton of these 90s gimmick and high print run books, many of which sell for less than they were originally sold for.

Anyways, that was a bit of a rant, but I figure context is important, and I hope it’s somewhat interesting history.

Skipper then says second prints are worthless. He is again wrong; some second prints are worth more than or equal to the first print. It depends on the book but just look at Amazing Spider-Man 654 2nd print compared to the first print: there’s a huge price difference. If you go back to the 90s, you have the DC Universe logo 2nd or 3rd prints. Some are pretty tough to find and most will be at least a few more dollars than their first print counterparts.

Anyways enough rambling about comics and losing half of my readers in the first few paragraphs.

Skipper gets a new comic in the mail. It comes in an envelope and is titled the Masked Mutant. It’s a comic series that follows the titular supervillain on his quests of evil. Also, no way this book is mint being shipped in an envelope.

He reads the comic and it’s his favorite series. If only I could read this fictional comic. It must really be the best since speculator Skipper thinks it’s the best. I’ll have to give up my Spider-Man: Blue, Sandman, and Preacher comics with how good this issue sounds. Not!

The Masked Mutant is a villain who has the power to shapeshift and turn into any solid object or being. Great, this is like Metamorpho meets Morph. Also, in this series are all mutants. The X-Men called; they want their royalty check.

Skipper then gets pranked by his sister, with her rubbing her cold hands on him. This is known as the classic frostbite prank. You get frostbite and then rub your hands on someone.

I’d like to take a moment to talk about something I don’t typically write about in my reviews, but this time it’s important, the physical characteristics of characters. Skipper is described as being obese, not athletic, and liking to skip. I usually wouldn’t include this, but it’s important to the plot later on. Also, this falls into the stereotype of comic collectors being overweight. I’ve met plenty of collectors, and the truth is, everyone comes in all shapes and sizes, just like with any other hobby. Even I don’t fit into this stereotype, since I work out, I’m physically quite slim, and enjoy physical activity like calisthenics, but anyways, enough ranting about a minor part in a children’s book.

Skipper is then caught by his dad reading comics. He’s supposed to be doing his homework, but he’s so bad at school, he doesn’t even bother to do the work. Of course, if you suck at something, just don’t do it, no wonder this guy does poorly.

His dad then threatens to throw out his comics, but doesn’t.

Later we learn that the Masked Mutant lives in a giant pink fire hydrant. Who lives in a pink hydrant? Why would you live in a pink hydrant? True villains like to cause eyesores.

Two days later after school Skipper has to go to the orthodontist. He plans on going to the comic shop nearby the dentist either before or after his visit. He gets on the bus and meets a girl. After talking Skipper tells her his name. He is then roasted by her. Me and all of my homies love to roast Skipper.

Skipper learns Libby likes comics as well. However, she only likes the funny comics, which Skipper roasts her for. Look, there are some good comics that aren’t superheroes. If we’re talking about comedy comics, look no further than Archie or Cherry. Which Cherry is an adult comic, but nevertheless there are good comedy comics. Then if we’re talking magazine, Mad can also be a good choice. Anyways, Skipper is super closed minded.

Skipper then brags his collection is worth thousands. Okay, time to roast Skipper again. He has a single box of 90s comics. Back then those comics are unlikely to add up to that value, even in near mint condition and today they wouldn’t either. Unless you have stacks of New Mutants 98 or something similar, there is no way this is true.

Skipper then says that only real collectors speculate and plan to sell comics. This is not true either. No matter how, why, or for what reasons you collect, you’re still a collector. You don’t have to be one thing to be a fan, you don’t have to enjoy one thing to be a collector, just enjoy what you enjoy, that’s what matters. For the majority of the time, I’ve been a collector I haven’t been a seller or even an investor. I’m also not a speculator, or at least not in the sense Skipper is. So, I guess according to Skipper I’m not a collector.

Anyways, Skipper is overly rude to Libby for no reason. Skipper then misses his stop and ends up in the middle of nowhere. I guess he just got distracted.

Libby follows him off the bus, for some reason. Skipper then sees the giant pink fire hydrant across the street. First, how has he not seen it sooner, since the fire hydrant is giant, and is over 40 stories tall. Second, this has got to be the ugliest tower of all time. Finally, why is the supervillain tower in a small town?

Skipper then goes into shock and Libby leaves. He goes up to the building and goes inside. The interior of the building is pink and empty. I think the Masked Mutant needs a new interior decorator. Even Baron Zemo isn’t this into pink.

Skipper then realizes he’s late for his dentist appointment. This guy is horrible when it comes to priorities.

The next day, Skipper tells Wilson, but this goes nowehere.

A week later Skipper finally gets to go back to the building. He gets on the bus and heads over. This time the building is gone. Libby shows up. Skipper goes over to her house. He leaves pretty quickly, since he can’t stand her comics. I have to say, Skipper is lame.

He walks back over to the building, but it’s still gone. Who would have thought?

Later he gets the next issue of the Masked Mutant. It turns out the building is under an invisibility cloak. I knew the local HOA would go after him; pink is not an approved color.

The next day Skipper goes to the mall with his mom. He tries to tell her about the fire hydrant of pink terror, but she doesn’t like him talking about comic stuff. He then tells her about school, she doesn’t like that either.

The next day on the bus, Skipper tells Libby about the pink fire hydrant of doom, she thinks he’s crazy. They go to the fire hydrant.

Libby and Skipper go through the invisibility cloak. Then they go inside. The place is still empty. They get onto an elevator. It then goes to the basement at lightning-fast speed. This is what Lex Luthor needs, a murder elevator.

After hitting the bottom with only minor injuries, but not really, since in reality, I don’t think they would have survived this elevator, they have to manual open the elevator doors.

The basement is boring, so they go back, but the elevator has disappeared. I hate when that happens. As they walk around Libby disappears. Skipper discovers a control panel. He wanders some more and finds a printing press with pages of the mutant comic.

He then finds art of the series, featuring him! Libby walks into the room. She says they have to leave and doesn’t believe there’s art of him here. In fact, she can’t even be bothered to look at the pages. They leave.

Wilson comes over to Skipper’s house later that evening. He’s brought his stamp collection, but Skipper blows him off. Great, Skipper sucks.

Skipper tells Wilson about what happened. Wilson gets confused so Skipper kicks him out.

The next issue of the Masked Mutant shows up. It announces that the Galloping Gazelle is going to be murdered by the mutant, but a mystery hero can save him. Turns out that mystery hero is Skipper. I wouldn’t exactly describe Skipper as heroic in anyway. In fact, I think he’s closer to being a villain.

Skipper gets excited and tells his parents. Both of whom ignore him. They don’t even try to listen to what he has to say. His mom peaks at the book and says that’s not him. She then talks down to him before going back to ignoring him. His dad doesn’t even try, just tells him to more or less go away. No wonder Skipper sucks, it’s because of his parents.

The next day after school Skipper goes back to the building. The building is empty again, except he hears laughter. The building is laughing at Skipper.

He gets on the elevator, and it takes off without him hitting a button. The murder elevator proceeds to not murder Skipper.

Skipper ends up on the 46th floor. After wandering around for a bit he finds the Galloping Gazelle tied up. He has a long moment of amazement before helping free the Galloping Gazelle.

The Gazelle thinks Skipper has superpowers. This is hilarious, since Skipper is almost next to useless, but sure, he has the power of speculating.

The Gazelle wants Skipper to help him fight the Masked Mutant. Skipper agrees for some inconceivable reason. Know your limits dude.

Skipper and the Gazelle go off to face the Masked Mutant in his lair. However, even with the Gazelle walking at a normal human pace, Skipper can’t keep up. If this was Lord of the Rings, there would be another book of just walking.

On the staircase leading up to the lair, there’s a disintegrator ray. Skipper has to jump two steps to get pass it. The Gazelle does this easily. In fact, most people could do this easily. Skipper gets a running start and jumps onto the first step. He cleared zero steps, my dude, that’s horrible. He is then immediately disintegrated.

No, I kid, the Masked Mutant forgot to turn it on. Skipper has gained the status of plot armor.

They wait in the Mutant’s Lair for him to surprise attack him. The Masked Mutant is already there and wants to kill Skipper. The Galloping Gazelle says not today and fights him.

The Gazelle is winning the fight, but then trips over the Masked Mutant. The Mutant transforms and tries to eat him. The Galloping Gazelle is a coward and leaves. I don’t see Captain America doing something like this.

The Masked Mutant turns his attention to Skipper. He asks Skipper what powers he has. Skipper doesn’t have powers.

Look, if a supervillain ever asks you what your powers are and you don’t have any, just start listing things, at least it might buy you some time to come up with a plan.

If for some reason listing a superpower that will become yours if you name it, then say something smart. For example, I have the power to copy any power I can think of or I’m immortal, but not in the bad way like the character Immortal Man.

Skipper embodies Killer Croc and throws a rock at the Masked Mutant. This does nothing.

The Masked Mutant grabs Skipper. Before Skipper can be crushed or thrown to his death Libby arrives.

Libby says her and Skipper are leaving. The Masked Mutant says no. Libby pulls out a toy gun she happens to have on her and says it’s a molecule melter. The Masked Mutant says no. The gun doesn’t work. Then all of a sudden, the Masked Mutant dies. Libby’s saved the day, Skipper is saved, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Nope, Libby points the gun at Skipper and says he’s next. Then Libby transforms into the Masked Mutant. What type of Masked Mutant inception is this? Well, Libby was the Masked Mutant all along.

Turns out the Masked Mutant just melted a guy named molecule… Oh who cares, it was some random villain who had the same powers as the Masked Mutant. Why did this happen? The Masked Mutant says because he’s a villain. Evil laugh.

Yeah, so this is the lamest and weakest form of villain writing. The whole doing something because they’re evil is always a cop out. The best villains do things for a reason, even if it’s a dumb or not fully thought-out reason. Like Thanos. Doing something evil to be evil is when the writer either has no idea why themselves or when the writer wants their villain to be extra edgy. Either way it never works and just makes it seem ridiculous and pretty stupid. It’s like asking a superhero why they saved the world, and they say, “Because I’m nice.” Okay, but the answer isn’t an answer and comes off as pretty poorly written.

The Masked Mutant wanted Skipper because he needed a new superhero to kill. The Masked Mutant reveals he turned Skipper into a comic character.

Before Skipper can die, he says he’s Elastic Boy and he’s not even supposed to be here today. Unfortunately, Skipper didn’t ask for the good version of the power like Plastic Man, instead it seems he got the type where he can stretch but can’t do it at will. Wow, that must suck, you need to say you have the good type of the power.

The Masked Mutant stops him. Skipper says his only weakness is sulfuric acid. Then The Masked Mutant turns into sulfuric acid, but Skipper dodges him. The Masked Mutant dies.

Let’s think this through for a quick second. Skipper is able to somehow dodge a supervillain. Also, the Masked Mutant changed into his one weakness, liquids, which he can’t change back from and causes him to die, hence why he only changes into solid. This is like Superman wearing Kryptonite armor, this is like the Flash trying to enter the speed force while only on a slippery surface, this is like Wolverine going for a swim in an ocean. I have to put this guy lower than some of the dumbest villains like the Almighty Dollar, Codpiece, Weasel, or the Baffler. This may be a bit DC heavy, but yeah, these villains suck.

Later on, at home Skipper is having a light snack with his sister Mitzi. By light snack, I mean chocolate cake. While cutting the cake, Skipper almost cuts off his hand, but he has superpowers now, so he’s fine, and only has a bit of colored ink come out of his hand. Okay, so his elastic powers suck even more than I thought. Also, in normal circumstances, dude is down a hand. This is why children shouldn’t handle sharp objects.

The book ends.

Review:

This book is such a mixed bag. It’s cool to see superheroes, supervillains, and comic related stuff as the central focus of a Goosebumps book. However, it’s handled so bizarrely and feels so out of place for a Goosebumps entry that I don’t know if it even works or is even frightening.

The good aspects of this Goosebumps book include the Masked Mutant being an awesome villain. The book has actual stakes. The central idea is at minimum cool. The plot has a lot of cool parts to it including the villain and the pink fire hydrant of destruction. I also like a lot of the small details mentioned such as the comic book posters. I think the ending is kind of cool.

However, I’m about to go on a rant about the bad. Skipper sucks. I don’t think there’s a single redeeming quality with this guy. Maybe, he has a bit of bravery, but that’s so minimal and it’s really only for his own personal survival. I don’t think there’s anything I like about this guy. Even though he collects comics, he comes off as the most pompous, disrespectful, closed minded, idiot I’ve ever read in a Goosebumps book. Just make this guy the villain, have him team up with the Masked Mutant, that would make more sense.

Libby being the Masked Mutant is a horrible twist. Her character doesn’t make any sense with context. I pondered why the Masked Mutant would impersonate a girl and gaslight him. I guess because he’s evil. Even then though, the extent he goes to keep him away doesn’t add up. Honestly, on the first visit, he should have transformed. Sure, the book would be short, but at least the lure would make sense. When they keep going back, you really have to suspend your disbelief.

I like the Masked Mutant as a concept, however, his decision in the end is so bad. I don’t think Stine had figured out a way for Skipper to win in a fight, so that’s the ending he came up with. You should have just let them fight. If his powers were closer to Plastic Man or Mister Fantastic then it could have been a great battle. Also, elastic powers are generally broken, so I think Skipper could have won. Anyways, we get the dumb ending.

Once a villain starts fighting children, they usually become a bit more of a joke character, and in this Goosebumps book, the Masked Mutant proves it.

Outside of that, the other characters for the most part suck. Except Wilson, Wilson is cool in my book. Enjoy your stamp collection my dude and stop hanging out with Skipper.

I’d also like to mention the horrible pacing. Half the book is Skipper waiting to go to the building or going into the fire hydrant of pink devastation and then running away.

I think there’s a startling lack of horror in this book. This reads more like a superhero story, but a really weak story. I’ll put it this way, if I read this as a comic book, I’d say it wasn’t very good and pretty lackluster in almost every way. However, if a competently written Masked Mutant comic comes out, I’d at least be willing to give it a read.

All in all, this Goosebumps entry is one of the more bizarre entries I’ve read so far. I like aspects of it, but overall, it isn’t amazing. I can’t completely hate it, but I also don’t like it that much. This would have been forgettable, if I wasn’t into comics.

I’ll give this entry of Goosebumps a 5/10. The X-Men have arrived for their royalty check and it’s all going to the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Also, for anyone curious, you can find it on Google maps.

Twist ending:

Skipper got catfished by the Masked Mutant as Libby. Another example could be Skipper gets to keep his power in this Goosebumps book, even if the power is pretty bad.

Memorable line:

“Dinnertime,” The Masked Mutant says menacingly. Oh, no, he’s about to eat and he didn’t even cook!

Memorable moment, cliffhanger, etc:

Skipper decides to follow Galloping Gazelle to fight the Masked Mutant. He proceeds to not fight or help in any way to defeat the Masked Mutant.

Bad parenting:

The parents suck in this book. There’s a reason Skipper sucks so much. His parents either ignore him or tell him to shut up throughout the book. Basically, they don’t want to hear anything from Skipper and don’t care what he has to say. It seems his parents are pretty ineffective at parenting. Also, how did they come up with the name Mitzi? That’s a really old name. I think these are up there as some of the worst parents in a Goosebumps book.

Random references:

Play-Doh, Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Jell-O, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Captain America, Spawn, Todd McFarlane, and Jack Kirby. Well, I’m headed back to the fourth world, at least the stories are better there.

Tropes in book:

Twist ending, sibling pair, nobody believes a character’s crazy story, Mitzi jump scare, pranks, crazy cliffhangers, a character has a ridiculous nickname (Skipper), and a character is 12.

TV tie-in:

I really want to like this Goosebumps episode. There’s a ton going for this adaptation, but unfortunately it winds up a bit short.

I’ll start out with the notable changes. Wilson collects rocks. The Masked Mutant creeps around the school in full costume. I guess it’s good he didn’t get caught. He also rides on top of a bus and somehow nobody sees the Masked Mutant on top. They changed the fire hydrant to purple. Mitzi isn’t in the book. The building only has four upper floors now, also there’s floor 1 and lobby, which would be the same floor. Skipper has comic vision in this issue. Skipper gets the good powers this time around.

There are good things about this Goosebumps episode. First, the acting is actually pretty good for the most part. The cheesy superhero and supervillain dialogue and acting makes the end of the second episode a lot of fun. I also like that the costumes look pretty good and are true to the book. The tower is still a cool setting, even if it looks pretty bad in this episode. I think these are things the episode succeeds with.

The issues are numerous though. The Masked Mutant stalks Skipper in public as the Masked Mutant, which if anybody saw him, it would end the story pretty quickly. This is a two-part episode and could have been easily condensed into a single episode. There are so many pointless scenes. All of the issues from the book are still present. The good moments are great, but the bad drags on way too long. The green screen in this episode looks awful. The comic books don’t look the best. And if that wasn’t enough, Skipper is still insufferable.

Skipper really likes the art, thinks it’s the best out there, but it looks like cheap self-published art. It looks like the artwork from a small indie press that is cookie cutter, but just not at the same level as other cookie cutter art. At least it looks pretty 90s, but that’s the best I can say. Still better than Rob Liefeld’s art.

Anyways, this Goosebumps episode suffers a lot. The only saving grace is the acting, and even then, the script is pretty bad, which doesn’t help. The episode is at its best when the Masked Mutant or Galloping Gazelle are present and speaking, otherwise it’s a bit of a slop like the book. I think if this was a single episode, then it would be somewhat better.

I think the unfortunate thing is this episode of Goosebumps had a chance to be good. The biggest changes I’d make for this Goosebumps episode would be having Skipper written to be more likable. Fewer scenes with his parents complaining, we get it from the first time. I’d have Libby less in the episode and written more consistently to be like the Masked Mutant. Finally, I’d reduce the trips to the fire hydrant of pink horror to one or two times.

I think Adam West does a lot to save this episode of Goosebumps. In future Goosebumps projects they need to have Adam West just do all of the roles. The acting would be solid after doing that.

I’ll give this Goosebumps episode a 4/10. I really wanted to like it, I just can’t. Next time, they should try a bit more frightening of a villain. I don’t know, maybe Carnage. The episode or book would be five minutes long, but at least it would be scarier than this.

Memorable episode line:

Wilson: “Do you want a rock?”

Skipper’s Dad: “Not really.”

Come on dude, just accept the rock. If you do, you can rock out.

Famous cast:

Dan Warry-Smith, Maurice Godin, Bill Lake, and saving the best for last, the great Adam West. Some days you can’t get rid of a bomb, however, West turns an otherwise bomb of an episode into something at least enjoyable for a few minutes.

I’ll say it again; Adam West makes this episode of Goosebumps enjoyable.

Come back soon for more Goosebumps fun and reviews.

To read the last Goosebumps review: https://goosebumpsblogger.com/goosebumps-24-phantom-of-the-auditorium/

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