The fourth entry into the Goosebumps series brings one of the scarier stories in the series. This is one of the most iconic Goosebumps books and in this review, I’ll be seeing if a photo really can bring a thousand screams. Published 1992.

Synopsis:

At the beginning of the novel, we are introduced to our primary cast of Greg, Michael, Doug also known as Bird, and Shari. They all live in the small town of Pits Landing where none of them can find anything to do. The group discuss going to the store and look at comics, but they’re all broke. So out of boredom, they take up breaking and entering.

The four of them head to the Coffman house, an old home that is abandoned and in disrepair. As they approach, Greg is jump scared by a cocker spaniel, giving us the first cliffhanger in Say Cheese and Die. Greg is the most worried out of the group, since he’s scared of the house, and probably doesn’t want a juvenile record at such a young age. The house isn’t the thing that scares him the most, but a man who hangs out around the house named Spidey.

Greg, Bird, Michael, and Shari break into the house. In the kitchen they find a blood like substance, that is probably blood, but they convince themselves it’s ketchup. Rats crawl around the house, which Shari finds cute, sorry, but I don’t think you’re finding Stuart Little here. In today’s market, despite the poor shape, this house would likely be affordable for only the upper echelon of wealthy people.

As they explore, they decide that the basement might be cool to wander around in. Bird heads down first and starts to scream. This causes Greg, the shook one, to run down the stairs, which feels out of character. Greg finds out that Bird was just pranking him. The rest of the kids head down to the basement. In the basement Shari tries on an old hat, a quick run to getting lice.

Greg gets bored, and starts to mess around with a vise, upon turning it, a secret compartment opens. This reveals a hidden camera. Greg takes the camera from the secret compartment. The compartment slams shut afterwards, which seems like an awful design flaw, like what if he hadn’t been quick?

Greg takes the opportunity to have Michael pose on the staircase for a photo. Almost as soon as he takes the photo, Michael falls through the railing of the staircase. As the kids help Michael, they hear footsteps upstairs. This causes them to become scared, as they suspect it to be Spidey. The group notices there’s a second exit but are slowed down by Michael who says his ankle is broken. They get up the stairs to find the door stuck, but after a bit of effort they’re able to escape.

The kids look at the photo of Michael, which shows him falling through the railing. The group of kids believe Greg is the one at fault for taking the picture too late.

Greg goes home to discover a new Taurus his dad bought. He takes a photo of the Taurus. As he enters the house, Greg realizes he won’t know how to explain his new stolen camera, so he hides it in his own secret compartment in his room. This is when Greg decides to take a look at the picture he took, discovering that the Taurus in the image is destroyed.

At this point, most would suspect that there’s something wrong with the camera, but Greg is mostly oblivious to this. During dinner we are introduced to Greg’s brother Terry and his parents. His dad, during dinner says they’ll take the car out for a drive after dinner. The Taurus is described as a super car, which it’s not, it’s probably the farthest thing from a super car.

Greg tries to get out of going for a drive, but his excuses suck and it’s not like he’s going to tell his family about the camera. On the drive, his father is speeding and distracted. He can’t figure out how to turn on the headlights, so his father is leaning over, while speeding, looking for some secret headlight switch. Huh?

This causes his dad to almost crash the car by going head on into a truck. His dad looks up at the last minute and is able to save the whole family from the collision. This is when his dad finds out how to turn on the headlights using a button on the steering wheel. Wow, that is exceptional.

After the drive Greg asks Terry if he can test out his camera on him. Terry agrees, but Greg doesn’t show his brother the photo. Greg does look for himself and finds the picture shows his brother with a scared face outside. Greg thinks the camera is broken, while I’m more of the opinion Greg is broken.

A few days pass and Greg is at a baseball game, which Bird is playing in. During a conversation, Bird takes the camera from Greg, but Shari takes it back and ends up taking a picture of Bird. The picture shows Bird sprawled out on the ground unconscious. Right before the game, Bird pulls a prank by posing like the picture. Stine sure does like his pranks.

Towards the end of the game, Bird gets hit in the head with a ball, which causes the picture to come to fruition. This is followed by Terry showing up looking terrified.

Terry tells Greg that their dad is at the hospital after a car accident. This has resulted in his dad having a broken arm and ribs. Another photo has come true. Greg has finally begun to believe something may not be right with the camera.

A few days later Bird has recovered, and Shari wants Greg to bring his camera to her birthday party. Greg doesn’t want to and tells her he had a dream of his family as skeletons while using his camera. Shari doesn’t change her mind and Greg has no backbone, so he brings the camera. At the birthday party Greg takes two photos of Shari, but she isn’t in either of them. Later the kids head into the woods to play games and after returning from the woods, Shari has gone missing.

The police show up to find out what happened to Shari. Police at the scene tell Greg to go home, but Greg doesn’t, instead he tells an officer about his evil camera. For obvious reasons, the cop doesn’t believe him and sends Greg home.

Greg gets home, but nobody is there. He remembers his brother is at work and his parents are at the hospital. Upon entering his room, he finds it ransacked with his belongings all over the place. Has he been robbed? Nope, it seems Spidey has found out where he lives.

Greg puts together a genius plan, he’ll return the camera. He meets up with Michael and Bird at the field and tells them his plan. Neither of them wants to help, since now they’re scared of the Coffman house. Greg accidentally takes a photo of himself, but before he can look at it, two bullies show up. Joey and Mickey, no relation to the mouse, set about stealing the camera. Joey and Mickey plan to take a photo, but Greg steals the camera back. Greg, Michael, and Bird run away.

Greg gets a chance to look at the photo when he gets home. The image shows Greg and Shari scared at the field.

Two days pass by. Greg is really sad Shari hasn’t returned, so he tears up the photos of Shari, the ones she’s invisible in. A few moments later Greg gets a call from Shari. She says she doesn’t remember the last two days, but she’s back now.

The next day, Greg and Shari meet up. As Greg reveals his plan to return the camera, Spidey shows up. However, Spidey isn’t your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and chases the two kids. Greg is lucky as he sees his neighbor Jerry in his car. Jerry gets out of his car and says he’ll call the cops on Spidey. Spidey, realizing his archnemesis, police, may become involved, runs away.

The next day at the Coffman house, Greg and Shari meet to return the camera. An ominous storm has arrived at town. The two hurry into the house. Greg and Shari reach the basement where he returns the camera to the location, he found it at.

Spidey shows up, which is so, not surprising. After verifying the camera has been returned, Spidey enters exposition mode. He explains he’s evil and greedy, and helped invent the camera. He reveals his name to be Fritz Fredericks. Spidey says the camera is cursed, it sucks souls, and it was created by a master of dark arts, even more evil than him.

Instead of taking this opportunity to be a good person and let Greg and Shari go, Spidey says they know too much. Well, Spidey, do you know why they know too much? Because you told them everything!

Spidey grabs Greg as the kids try to escape. Shari steals the camera and takes a photo of Spidey. Spidey let’s go and the kids run to the top of the stairs. They look back down to find Spidey has died. If it isn’t clear, the kids killed Spidey with the photo they took.

Greg returns the camera to the hiding spot for the second time in the Coffman house, and heads out. Suggesting to Shari they will call the police. Later Joey and Mickey (Rat) arrive, since they had been watching. The book ends with Joey taking Mickey’s photo.

Review:

Despite a few pretty dumb moments, this has been one of the best entries yet. My critiques are pretty limited for Goosebumps Say Cheese and Die. First, Greg doesn’t catch on to the camera being cursed until around the fourth photo he takes, or none of the other kids catching on until over halfway through. The whole dad not being able to figure out where his headlights were and needless distracted driving was ridiculous, it’s not like Kick streams existed back then.

Finally, Spidey seems to be his own worst enemy, especially at the end when he didn’t have to reveal so much or try to trap the kids.

There were a lot of good things in the book. Most of the horror comes from grounded and realistic things such as injuries, car accidents, or burglaries. Sure, the camera isn’t grounded, but the rest is, so definitely different compared to the rest of the Goosebumps books so far. The camera itself is a unique idea. Spidey works as an intimidating villain. Finally, the book has excellent pacing.

Overall, I’ll give Goosebumps Say Cheese and Die an 8/10. This may change in the future, but for now, I would say this is the best book so far.

Twist ending:

The bullies discovering the camera and then using it. Spidey’s reveal could also be considered a twist. Dark ending.

Memorable line:

“We could fight crabgrass.” The most villainous grass.

Memorable moment, cliffhanger, etc.

The dream about Greg’s family as skeletons while he takes a photo may not normally be so memorable, but with it being on the cover and with it being so out of the blue, it ends up being a pretty good moment.

Bad Parenting

Distracted driving, poor driving, and dumb driving from dad.

Random References:

X-Force, Hungry Man Dinners, Dairy Freeze, and Taurus (insert 1986 theme).

Tropes in book:

Twist ending, crazy cliffhanger, dog jump scare, dark ending, nobody believes a character crazy story, pranks, and sibling pair.

TV tie-in:

This Goosebumps episode is virtually the same as the book, except for a few changes, including to the ending. The first major change is the house looks a lot more industrial in the episode, it’s essentially a factory. The camera is much stranger looking. Next, the dad doesn’t exhibit as much irresponsible driving as in the book. The police treat Greg like a suspect in the episode, unlike in the book.

The ending is overall a bit weaker, with Spidey first disappearing into the camera after his picture is taken, and then reappearing when the bullies take a photo. The ending is much less scary. Also, a lot of the horror and scary elements from the book are taken out in this shortened episode. While pretty much nothing is added, what is removed ends up making the episode not as good as the book.

I’ll give the Say Cheese and Die Goosebumps episode a 6/10.

Memorable episode line:

“I took a picture of her.” Greg hands the police a picture without Shari in it. Yup, you really thought that one through.

Famous cast:

Ryan Gosling, Scott Speedman from Underworld and Animal Kingdom, Dan Petronijevic from Letterkenny, and Karen Robinson from Schitt’s Creek. Surprisingly a very recognizable cast.

Come back soon for more Goosebumps fun and reviews

To read the last Goosebumps review: https://goosebumpsblogger.com/goosebumps-3-monster-blood/

Cover Gallery